Sleepless Nights

I have always been a good sleeper. I usually have from one to three seconds before I fall asleep once my head hits the pillow, and I sleep the whole night through. On the rare occasion that this doesn't happen, I typically get frustrated, toss and turn, and try to relax every single muscle in my body starting with my toes.

There have been a number of occasions where I have had demonic attacks in the middle of the night. I used to just pray (silently) for God's protection and would curl up under my blanket just waiting for the terrifying feeling I had to go away. I hadn't had an attack in a few months, but the other night... it happened. It is almost always the same thing. I'm half asleep, but I am paralyzed. I can't make any noises, despite how hard I try to force air to pass through my vocal chords. Thinking I might be able to get a wisper out, I try saying the name of Jesus over and over. This usually only lasts a few minutes before I am fully awake and able to move. This time wasn't scary. I commanded the demons to leave in the name of Jesus, prayed (audibly), and proceeded to read my Bible out loud. Everything was fine.

I've come to realize (through experience and studies) that this usually happens when I am following God closely and am doing something that disrupts the "spiritual realm." This night was the beginning of something new. Up until that night, I had been spending quite a bit of time with God. For the first time, I was learning what it meant to have an intimate relationship with Him. He was (and is) the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I thought of before I fell asleep. God has been slowly showing me that which I cling to and asking me to let Him have it. Apparently one of these things was sleep.

Since the night of that attack, my most intimate times with Jesus have been in the middle of the night. I've even started telling Him that He can feel free to wake me up at any time to spend time together, and He has! I would normally be super crabby all day and insist on going to bed early the next night, but that has faded away. I'm just amazed that God, the Creator of the Universe, wants to spend time with me! I can't believe what I've been missing out on all these years!