I've always been a big competitor, as long as it didn't put me in any danger. I get this from my mom. There is no such thing as a "friendly game" in the Barnes household. And quite frankly, if we are playing a game that has anything to do with smarts, words, or acting, I dominate. This would be why my mom refuses to play anything but cards with me. She hates to lose. I hate to lose more.
This competitiveness has made its way into my scholarly life. Too bad this didn't happen when I was in High School or during my first shot at college. I consider this new desire to get nothing less than an A (not even an A- will suffice) both a blessing and a curse. Yes, it is awesome to see my GPA continue to rise (I transferred in with 6 credits at a 3.86 GPA) and see my confidence in my academic abilities grow, but my grades are becoming my babies. I care so much about them that I will have nightmares about getting a B on a paper or missing a ton of points for failing to include one of the required elements in my paper.
This competitive behavior is, so far, just with myself. I know I can get an A and feel I have failed myself and God if I get less than that A. I don't let anyone else see my grades (minus the one I posted recently on Facebook) because I don't want to open that door that leads to competition with others! I know I need to change this behavior. My struggle lies in the fact that I know God desires for me to do my best, and I know that my best is an A. I need to learn how to control this desire.
Have any of you had a problem with obsessing over grades? Were you able to overcome that obsession? Any advise for me??? :)
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